Tale of Two Kiddies

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Archive for the month “April, 2012”

Is the glass half full or half empty? Who cares.


The age old argument about the pesky glass is it half full or half empty, the new spin that the opportunist drank it while you were arguing over the proper status of its contents. From the perspective of a (dare i say, relatively good) mom – I look at the glass and care not whether it’s half full or half empty, I try to figure out how to make it completely full or, if that’s not possible, how to best split it between two kids and how to make the water appealing to said kids.

Isn’t that true of everything in life with kids? How do we split our time and resources and affection between multiple kids and responsibilities? Life isn’t always fair but is that a lesson a 4 year old or 2 year old need to learn? Can it be learned that early? The thing is while life doesn’t always appear fair, there is usually a reason behind it and typically it balances out. Being as though that’s a concept most adults can’t grasp, it is ridiculous to think that preschoolers are going to get it. We need to teach our kids to share and be grateful and that sometimes “no” is the final answer. There’s not always time or money readily available for everything they want. Some things are dangerous or frivolous or not a good idea at the moment. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. My kids don’t always want to share with each other, they whine & cry when they don’t get their way, they don’t always stay in bed when I put them there for the night, they don’t always eat whatever is given to them with a smile – but they’re kids (and sometimes surprise me by doing the right thing)! The important part is I’m teaching them these things. I’m hoping with patience & consistency & age, their reactions will become more socially acceptable & gracious. They are well taken care of – fed, cleaned, dressed, comfortable, safe – and very well loved. And they’re happy! They don’t know we’re struggling. Isn’t that the best I can do?

Due to unfortunate circumstances we’re in a less than ideal situation. My glass isn’t even close to half full. It’s closer to about a sip and a half left. As a mom I still try to figure out how to fill the glass, how to split a sip & a half fairly, how to make it appealing. My kids don’t need to know that’s all that’s left. I mix in some Kool-Aid, put it in a Dixie cup so their cup is full, and they slurp up their shared sip confident knowing that Mom will make sure they have more tomorrow. One day I’ll be able to fill that glass for them, maybe even two. Who knows maybe one day I’ll even be able to fill a third so Mom will have one too. In the meantime, having my kids best interests -short-term or long-term- in heart & mind with whatever I do, I think that’s the best I can do.

*Just in case anyone reads this literally – I assure you my kids have much more to eat and drink each day than a sip & a half of Kool-Aid between them. Please don’t call DCF.


Versatile Blogger Award!!!

Oh. My. Goodness. I was nominated for a blogging award! What?! I don’t even believe it. The Stacy Dymalski gave little, old me the Versatile Blogger award. I am so excited & grateful. I am a huge fan of Stacy’s – she is sincere and very funny! http://stacydymalski.wordpress.com/2012/04/23/the-abcs-of-being-versatile/#more-1291


Now I have to get to work nominating 15 bloggers for the award myself. I’m new to the world of blogging – both reading & writing – so I’m not entirely sure I can come up with 15. Also that wouldn’t be fair, I’m not going to find a blog just to fill up the spots. What I can assure you is that the blogs I do read are phenomenal! I love sports, parenting, humor, & sarcasm. If you enjoy any of those or the combination of them, do yourself a favor & check these blogs out.

Gentlemen of Sport

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

The Idiot Speaketh

Mom in the Muddle


Peas & Cougars

Octavia and Vicky


very Very busy mom

I’ve become my parents

The Musings of a Jewish Stay-at-home Father

Kenneth Author

Thank you for the humor and advice! You’re all awesome! Now let us know who your Top 15 are that you’d like to nominate & pass on the love. Don’t forget to claim your award photo for your blog 🙂

Soccer tales of an athletically un-gifted 4 year old (the video proof)

As promised, here is the video of Kid #1 attempting jumping jacks. *He is the one in the middle who falls down as soon as the exercise starts. He gets back up & then the fun starts. Too bad they only have to do 10 of them. Haha.

Sorry I’ve been MIA

Sorry that I’ve been MIA. It’s been one helluva week. Awesome post coming tomorrow.. Well a post coming tomorrow, I promise. Kid #1 has his kindergarten DIAL screening tomorrow, I’m sure that will provide plenty of material – he has to skip for crying out loud! If you read my post about soccer, skipping will be way more challenging than reciting his ABC’s or counting to 30. Look forward to a blog post laden with mommy guilt over what a terrible teacher I’ve been to him & all the ways I’ve failed him. Isn’t that what kindergarten assessment is all about?

Soccer Tales of an athletically un-gifted 4 year old

Today started out early for a Sunday. The boys & I had to be at the soccer field by 8:45. Soccer is supposed to start at 9:00 but J’s coach wants us there at 8:45 so there’s not stragglers showing up at 9:05, after practice has started. I’m pretty sure he must have gotten a head’s up about my uncanny ability to consistently be fashionably late and created this rule just for me. I proved him a pretty smart guy when I showed up at 8:55. My dad had come to visit for the weekend, just to watch J play soccer – such a great grandpa! – and was staying with my sister. He was already at the field waiting for us. Pulling up and seeing him sitting in his car waiting I felt like I was 17 again and I missed curfew. Except between my dad & I that’s not that big of a deal because he’s pretty laid back & non-confrontational. So really it was just my own guilt I was feeling, now & back then. Anyway, it was such a beautiful morning and we had a blast watching a bunch of 4 year olds play soccer, or their version of it. We especially enjoyed my graceful (like a bull) son perform his version of jumping jacks. I really need to get this on video for you – it is hilarious. My poor kid, the coach could barely count, even he was cracking up. I can’t even begin to describe to you what his attempt looks like. If you’ve ever seen the “Elaine dance” on Seinfeld, imagine that but done by a tragically uncoordinated 4 year old. That’s the best idea I can give you for the awkwardness level. Thank goodness they only have to do 10 of them, so it’s a short-lived comedy put on by my sweet innocent boy. Bless his heart he tries though.

I’m so appreciative for soccer. It gives me such insight into my son that I otherwise wouldn’t have. It’s a unique perspective you get to have on your kid. It’s kind of like a fishbowl view. I’m there, he knows I’m there but gets distracted enough to forget this for a bit. I get to see how he interacts with & responds to different adults without me there. He’s talkative – boy is he talkative, he always has “just one thing” he needs to say. I see what he is like with other kids. He is friendly. I see the motivation he needs. He needs a good bit of encouragement. Left to his own devices, he will wander & get sidetracked. He literally walked off the field in the middle of a game to come ask me a question about where we were going to eat the bagels we were getting after soccer was over. (This is the same kid who before soccer, when I told him he needs to eat breakfast for energy before soccer, lifted his shirt, grabbed his “fluffy” – as I prefer to call it – belly and said straight faced & completely seriously “You see this? *This* belly gives me energy, I don’t need breakfast.”) The coach of the team he played against was so good with J & J responded so well to him, I was contemplating trying to switch him to that team. Haha, yeah right! There is no chance in hell that my kid would let me switch his team. He is so excited to be a Silver Bullet, I could never convince him to be a Ladybug. Can’t really blame him. The Ladybugs? For soccer? I get that they’re only 4 but come on, call me old fashioned but I don’t think that’s a good name for any sports team at any age. Maybe in the fall we can switch. Gives me plenty of time to lobby for a re-name or to convince J that ladybugs are the. coolest. thing. ever.

I am going to make sure that I talk to his school before they assign him a kindergarten teacher for the fall. I have this information now of how my son best needs to be handled in an instructional setting and you bet your booty I will be doing everything I can to set him up for success. He has his kindergarten/Dial screening on Thursday. I’m not sure if I should let them evaluate him first and see what they have to say without bias or if I should bring it to their attention first. What would you do? Have you been in a similar situation, what did you do? Are you -& I will love you forever for the insider info- someone who does dial testing? Also, I am 100%, undeniably aware that he will most certainly be failing the skipping test. Skipping? Worse than the jumping jacks. He kind of gallops with a little hop thrown in and then finishes it with some kind of weird triple-jump-ish thing. Seriously, if you’re a dial tester & you’re in my area or you know someone who is, make sure you have a video camera rolling. You could probably win the America’s Funniest Home Videos grand prize… But only if you beat out the jumping jacks video I’m getting next week!


What to do with a fussy baby

I am now watching a usually very happy 4 month old baby boy. He is super cute but not very happy unless he’s being held. I’ve tried everything. Could anyone give me any suggestions as to what may help? I love these kids as if they were my own but it’s very difficult to take care of 3 other kids, all under 4, with a baby in my arms. I want him to be able to get the rest he needs and also be able to take care of the others. Sometimes I get very frustrated – and use humor and this blog – as a way to vent and stay sane.

*Note: This is an update to this post. The previous post been deleted. I’m sorry if I offended anyone, that was not my intent, I was just exaggerating for comical effect. Guess I’m not as funny as I thought. In an effort to keep this fun and light, I will save my sarcasm & humor for posts about people I don’t know, myself, & my kids – until my kids learn how to read, then it will just be for strangers & myself.

Who spilled the popcorn?


So as I was sitting at the computer with some morning after uncertainty – unsure if I would be able to actually continue a blog, my kids came to my rescue. I was literally sitting next to kid #2, completely focused on my blog, unaware of my surroundings, trying to find & upload an old picture of a mess my kids made with some Cheerios. When I emerged from my daze I found my table & kitchen floor covered in cheddar cheese popcorn… And it’s 10:30 in the morning! Seriously?! It is irony at its finest. While I’m busy contemplating whether or not I’ll have post-worthy material every day, my kids are busy giving me something to write about!




Verbal Assault Weapons of a 4 year old

photo from http://comics.dp.cx/2009.01.27/Dennis%20the%20Menace-2009.01.27.gif

I wanted to share with you the top 3 weapons in Kid #1’s verbal assault arsenal.

#1. “Tell me more about this.”
This is used numerous times a day for even the most trivial things. Example: Me – You’re having chocolate milk this morning. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – It’s milk with chocolate in it & you drink it. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – I pour milk in your cup, scoop in the Ovaltine, stir it up. Close the cup, give it to you & you drink it. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – It’s good for you & it tastes yummy. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – That’s enough. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – I need more coffee… Or maybe wine.

#2. “You promise?”
Typically used when I’ve already said no multiple times and there’s no chance in hell I will promise. Example from yesterday, between kid #1 and my stepsister. Kid #1 – Can we go to McDonalds for lunch? SS – Sure. We can do that as a special treat today. Kid #1 – Can we eat inside? SS – No, I don’t think that’s a good idea because we have the dogs in the car. Kid #1 – Do you promise we can eat inside? SS – No, we can’t eat inside. I just told you that. (5 minutes later) Kid #1 – Aunt K, do you promise we can eat inside? SS – No Kid #1, we are not eating inside. We are taking it home. Ask again and we won’t get it at all. (While pulling up to the drive-through to order) Kid #1 – NOOOOOOO!!!!!! You PROMISED we could eat inside!!!!!!

#3 – “Ok, but only if…”
I think this is my favorite. My little cutie turns into a little con artist, or so he thinks. Example: Kid #1 – Can I have dessert? Me – Ok. You ate all your dinner. You can have a cookie for dessert. Kid #1 – Ok, but only if I can stay up 10 minutes later tonight. Me – It doesn’t work like that. Kid #1 – No, I’m making a deal with you. Me – I know what you think you’re doing but it doesn’t work like that. You asked for something you wanted, I said yes, now it’s done. What you’re actually saying is if I don’t let you stay up later, you won’t get your cookie. Are you sure that’s the deal you want to make? Kid #1 – *big sigh* Fine, I’ll just have a cookie…. But only if I can have two.

Are there verbal assault weapons your kid uses? Please share in the comments 🙂

I have kids.

I have kids. From this one simple statement you already know so much about me… I am happy, sad, frustrated, grateful, tired, optimistic, anxious.

I am all of these things every single day, multiple times a day. I am happy at nap time. I am sad when I realize someone else, okay maybe it was me, finished the last of my cookies. I am frustrated when I am wiping someone else’s little butt or sitting in someone else’s pee on the toilet seat. I am grateful when I find the emergency stash of cookies hidden in my closet. I am tired from the time I wake up until about 5 minutes before I have to go to bed. I am optimistic that one day scientists will find that the chocolate/coffee/reality tv diet & exercise program is the best way to a healthier me. I am anxious that the previously mentioned scientific discovery will never happen. Now you know a little bit more about me – I am a little (& I use that word loosely) sarcastic.

Being as though this is my first post I feel the need to let you & the world know I really do love my kids very much. Bear with me while I get all sappy for a minute. I’m happy when my kids hug me tight & tell me they love me – and are not just trying to change my mind about something. I’m sad when I realize how quickly time is passing by – and then realize I spend so much of that time yelling. I’m frustrated when I can’t remember just how tiny they were or when each milestone exactly occurred – I didn’t need to write it down because how could I ever forget when that happened. I’m grateful each & every morning that I wake up and get to spend another wonderful day with my kids – even though I usually have to consciously remind myself of this, after my coffee, & then several more times throughout the day. I’m tired because I give every bit of energy to make sure my kids grow up to be decent, productive, kind, generous members of society – they’re 2 & 4 so there’s not always a lot of evidence yet that I’m doing a good job or that the energy is well spent, but there are shining moments that keep me going. I’m optimistic that my kids will live in a better world than we’re living in now – and they’re still young enough that I can be optimistic that they will be part of the reason the world is a better place. I’m anxious because I’m a mom, we worry about our kids and other people’s kids and the world and the environment and the economy – and who will be the biggest loser this season and who will win The Voice (Go Team Blake & Team Adam!)


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