Mother’s Day fantasy wish list
“I believe there is no part of our lives, our adult as well as child life, when we’re not fantasizing, but we prefer to relegate fantasy to children, as though it were some tomfoolery only fit for the immature minds of the young. Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.”
As quoted in Questions to an Artist Who Is Also an Author : A Conversation between Maurice Sendak and Virginia Haviland (1972) by Virginia Haviland
Even though I’m -gasp- 30, I still fantasize. This is my fantasy Mother’s Day wish list:
1. A nap. Morning, afternoon, it does not matter. I haven’t napped in about 5 years. I’ll take one whenever I can get one.
2. A real shower. A shower where I can shave my legs, wash my hair – with shampoo & conditioner from separate bottles, & not be terrified that my kids are halfway to the playground when I don’t hear any fighting for longer than 2 minutes.
3. A trip to the bathroom alone. No open door, no audience, no running q&a session.
4. A full meal. Sitting down, in a chair, by myself. No sharing – which happens even with identical plates, no cutting other people’s food, no whining over the selection.
5. A phone call. Uninterrupted. No pleas for attention, no fighting, whining, hanging on my leg. No who is it? Can I have this? Can you do this? Just a nice enjoyable chat.
6. A full night’s sleep. In my bed. All alone. No feet kicking me in the ribs, no 3 am full-arm slap across the face, no waking up in a puddle having to change the sheets in the dark – or usually just throwing a towel over it until morning.
7. An actual quick trip to the store. I want to grab my keys, hop in the car, drive to the store, hop out, grab what I need, pay, hop back in car, drive home, go in house. Instead of the usual: search for 4 little shoes – 2 of each size – preferably matching, wrestle them on, find 2 jackets, wrestle them on, shepherd 2 kids out door & eventually to the car, fight to get them in the carseats & buckled, drive to store while questioning if milk is really *that* important, get kids out of car & safely into store, say no to various toys & candy for 20 minutes, grab what I need, pay, pay again for opened gum in kids’ pockets, keep kids from getting run over in parking lot, fight to get them back in seats & buckled, drive home with now screaming kids because they didn’t get every toy in cvs, wonder if the supermarket delivery system would drop off a gallon of milk next time, consider paying the $50 minimum for said gallon of milk just to never have to leave the house again, get home, get kids out of car, trip over the discarded jackets & shoes right inside the front door, realize you’re out of toilet paper, give up & go outside to collect leaves.
8. A massage/pedicure/movie. Anything that I can do for at least one hour without whining, crying, fighting, wiping someone else’s butt, constant requests for things that we don’t have or that they can’t have. Preferably something that can make me forget – for at least an hour – about the last 4 years of the above annoyances & the fact that I will be going back to it – & the saved up annoyances from the hour off.
9. A cup of coffee. Hot. From first sip to last. Without using the microwave even once.
10. A TV show. Not dvr’d. On at prime time. No kids out of bed – no bathroom trips, requests for water, etc. I want to sit on the couch at 9:00, watch a show in its entirety – commercials and all, and not get up or talk the entire time.
I love my kids, I really really do. I would include in the list lots of hugs, kisses, & snuggles from my boys but this was a fantasy list and I have no doubt that I will actually get tons of love from my kids. They are sweet sweet boys that love their mommy & show it a lot. I am very blessed in that way. That’s all I really want for Mother’s Day… Unless you’re offering anything from the above list 😉
Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! And to any of you dads or kids reading, I can safely assume that your wife or mom would happily accept any item on my list too – so you’re welcome!