Tale of Two Kiddies

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Kindergarten! How did that happen?!

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Kid #1 starts kindergarten on Tuesday. WTF?! How in the world did that happen so fast?! I remember clearly finding out I was “expecting” him (expecting – as if he had a choice. I’m expecting him but maybe he won’t show up. Stupid term. Anyway…) I remember clearly having him, the entire day from start to finish, stamped forever in my brain. The following (almost) 5 years has passed by in a flash. After that day in April 2007, I remember absolutely nothing clearly – not even my entire day yesterday. As they would say on Seinfeld – I had a baby, yadda yadda yadda, now he’s starting kindergarten. Seriously. How did the last 5 years turn into yadda yadda yadda? I honestly remember drunken nights out from 8 years ago more vividly and accurately than I remember almost anything from the past 5 years (having kid #2 being an exception to that of course).

I’m so excited for him. I’m excited for new beginnings. We’ve had many new beginnings this year, so it’s very fitting that school be yet another one. I’m also excited that, due to the many unexpected paths life has taken us on, we have wound up back in my home town. Kid #1 will be going to kindergarten in the very same school that I started my educational journey in 26 years ago. Circle of life or some other happy bs like that. It is pretty cool though. So far the best thing about kindergarten is (other than his happiness & excitement) the awesome threatening power. No matter what I need or want him to do or stop doing, all I have to do is play the kindergarten card and my wish is his command. Worst part so far, the school supply list. I’d like 5 minutes alone in a room with the sadists that compile this torturous list. Better yet, I’ll just send my 4.5 year old & 20 of his friends to spend 2.5 hours every day locked in a room with her. Oh wait… I just got it, advanced payback at its finest.

Thanks to starting the day after a holiday weekend, I’ve been trying to get everything organized & ready for Tuesday, so that maybe I’ll have Monday to relax & do nothing. Well, nothing other than take care of a 3 & 4 year old by myself, but that’s easy right? I just mean nothing extra to get ready for the start of school. However I’m on the fence. As much as I’d like to be super organized, have all set to go, & be the model parent, I also don’t want to set the bar too high. No sense being an over-achieving mom for the first week if I have no intention or plausible expectation of being an OAM the rest of the year. I try, really, but even my best efforts fizzle out by Day 10, or Day 2, who’s counting. Example: I bought a closet organizer at a yard sale. It has 5 cubbies, for Monday through Friday. The idea was to get all the outfits for the week ready, have them in the closet in their respective day’s hole, easy. The problem lies in implementing said plan. You see, it is hanging in the closet that is so piled high with shit that there’s room for Monday & Tuesday to hang, while Weds – Fri get smooshed together in a wad atop the pile. Actually that’s perfect because I don’t see it being used, or helpful, much past Tuesday. If only you could freely open & close the closet without a clothes-valanche threatening to knock you to the ground, maybe we’d have a couple days of organization.

Anyway I’m excited, nervous, anxious, happy, relieved, & shocked that my baby is starting kindergarten in a couple days. What do you do to keep some semblance of order & sanity in your school routine? Please remember who you’re talking to, any high maintenance or ridiculously involved suggestions will be politely thanked, laughed at for a length of time proportionate to the amount of time necessary to carry out the idea, & then completely forgotten/ignored/dismissed/unused. Thanks in advance for suggestions & good luck to any other first-timers dealing with school. *Good thing tissues were on the school supply list & good thing I had the foresight to buy in bulk at BJ’s – pretty sure I’ll need a few boxes on Tuesday!

My Missed Connections

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Pictured borrowed from http://cdn.psfk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/iwishisaidhello-5-525×351.jpg?fedaf9

I don’t know about you, but I had no idea what Missed Connections was (or even that it existed) until I heard it referenced on a couple TV shows and then read this ad (which turned out to be a hoax) that was posted on Facebook or pinterest.

If you haven’t heard of Missed Connections, it’s a website where you can go to post an ad trying to find someone you had a chance encounter with. Made googly eyes with a cutie while getting your morning coffee? Take the what-could’ve- been craziness up a notch and post an ad saying “short, curvy woman with purple hair and multiple piercings & tattoos seeking tall, dark, handsome man in suit that was smiling at me in Starbucks on Main St this morning. If you were smiling at the 6’2″ supermodel in the bikini behind me, please disregard this post.” Anyway, the point of this is not to bag on Missed Connections, or the people who use it – but I will for just a minute because, come on, this is ridiculous. Who am I to judge someone going online to post a plea to find someone they shared the same air with for 30 seconds? I could say that you’re bat shit crazy and even if the person you’re looking for thought you were cute, chances are if they see your desperate ad, there will be no next encounter. Hypothetically this is a great romantic idea, realistically it’s a forum for the psycho stalkers to let the world know who they are.

In tribute to Missed Connections, I’ve decided to write up a few of my own ads. I have had my share of encounters that I’d like to repeat, whether they were fleeting or lasted awhile before they faded into the sunset or disappeared in a flash. Turns out I really do understand the desperation involved in posting these ads.

Ad #1:
30 year old woman looking for her youthful energy. I spent quite a lot of time with you up until about 5 years ago. Then you just stopped showing up. We had great times together – we used to go out until all hours of the night & party, even on work nights where we had only a few hours in bed before the alarm went off. Do you remember? We could wake up, shower, chug an extra-large coffee, be awake & alert to kick ass at work, then repeat the same thing again later. I’ve heard that youthful energy disappears when you have kids or gets transferred completely to your kids but I thought *we* were different. I’d love to see you again. Please get in touch, even if you can only visit a few times a month – I’ll take whatever I can get.

Ad #2:
Mother of 2 seeks all the extra money I should have had before I had kids. Now I keep my kids fed, clothed, entertained, & happy – and trust me that is not cheap. Kids are expensive. Thing is I didn’t always have kids. I used to work before them and I made money and I didn’t have any extra money to save. I mean I should have, being as though now that I have kids I have all these extra expenses that I didn’t have before and I manage to keep those expenses paid. I’ve never actually met you extra money I should’ve been saving. I caught glimpses of you between 2000-2007, but it was mostly at crowded bars, restaurants, casinos & clothing stores. You slipped away before I could ever have a meaningful conversation with you about a real future. If you see this ad, please contact me, I still need you in my life – now more than ever.

Ad #3:
Young-ish lady seeks one super-sized, iron-clad bladder. I assure you I am not a senior citizen, I am only 30 years old. I had a long-term relationship with you, from about 1987/88 until the summer of 2007. Remember that 8 hour road trip when you didn’t fail me once? How about those long nights of drinking when, if we didn’t break your seal, you were dependable the whole time?! I didn’t even realize you left, you just kind of started hanging around less and less and before I knew it you were gone. I miss you so much every night, usually around 3:30 am, and sometimes when I laugh really hard. I’m so sorry I didn’t do my kegel exercises to keep you around longer, I promise to train really hard if you come back. Please come back to me – my future *Depends* on it!

Ad #4:
Very tired, yet functioning, woman seeks quality sleep. Thanks to Youthful Energy we didn’t spend that much time together but when we did -ahhhh – it was bliss. Thanks to Solid Bladder, our time together was uninterrupted. I miss you. I know we still see each other in dribs & drabs, but I would like to spend some real quality time with you like we used to. We used to be able to see each other whenever we wanted, for however long we wanted. What happened to us?! If at all possible, could you meet up with Solid Bladder, find this fairy tale character I’ve heard myths & rumors about named Babysitter, and at least spend one glorious weekend with me? If it goes well, maybe we can repeat for several trysts – I would love to see you as often as possible.

Ad #5:
Lovely mother looking for nice appearance. My standards are no longer that high, so you don’t have to be super rich or beautiful. You’ll recognize me by my: dirty/unbrushed pony tail, yoga pants I slept in, snot/pee/vomit stained t-shirt, & cheap flip flops or sneakers (depending on the season). I’ll also have bags under my blood shot eyes, a crying toddler on my hip, & a whining preschooler clinging to my leg. Please try to see past all that and see the once beautiful woman lurking underneath. If you peel off all those layers and replace with some nice jeans, pretty shirt, cute shoes and apply a hairbrush & some makeup, I promise I clean up quite nice. It would probably help if you teamed up with some of the others I’m seeking – this one may take a team effort, but please, for the love of everything good & just in this world, please find me!

Is there anyone you’re lacking in your life? Add your Missed Connections post in the comments below 🙂

Mother’s Day fantasy wish list

“I believe there is no part of our lives, our adult as well as child life, when we’re not fantasizing, but we prefer to relegate fantasy to children, as though it were some tomfoolery only fit for the immature minds of the young. Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.”
As quoted in Questions to an Artist Who Is Also an Author : A Conversation between Maurice Sendak and Virginia Haviland (1972) by Virginia Haviland

Even though I’m -gasp- 30, I still fantasize. This is my fantasy Mother’s Day wish list:

1. A nap. Morning, afternoon, it does not matter. I haven’t napped in about 5 years. I’ll take one whenever I can get one.

2. A real shower. A shower where I can shave my legs, wash my hair – with shampoo & conditioner from separate bottles, & not be terrified that my kids are halfway to the playground when I don’t hear any fighting for longer than 2 minutes.

3. A trip to the bathroom alone. No open door, no audience, no running q&a session.

4. A full meal. Sitting down, in a chair, by myself. No sharing – which happens even with identical plates, no cutting other people’s food, no whining over the selection.

5. A phone call. Uninterrupted. No pleas for attention, no fighting, whining, hanging on my leg. No who is it? Can I have this? Can you do this? Just a nice enjoyable chat.

6. A full night’s sleep. In my bed. All alone. No feet kicking me in the ribs, no 3 am full-arm slap across the face, no waking up in a puddle having to change the sheets in the dark – or usually just throwing a towel over it until morning.

7. An actual quick trip to the store. I want to grab my keys, hop in the car, drive to the store, hop out, grab what I need, pay, hop back in car, drive home, go in house. Instead of the usual: search for 4 little shoes – 2 of each size – preferably matching, wrestle them on, find 2 jackets, wrestle them on, shepherd 2 kids out door & eventually to the car, fight to get them in the carseats & buckled, drive to store while questioning if milk is really *that* important, get kids out of car & safely into store, say no to various toys & candy for 20 minutes, grab what I need, pay, pay again for opened gum in kids’ pockets, keep kids from getting run over in parking lot, fight to get them back in seats & buckled, drive home with now screaming kids because they didn’t get every toy in cvs, wonder if the supermarket delivery system would drop off a gallon of milk next time, consider paying the $50 minimum for said gallon of milk just to never have to leave the house again, get home, get kids out of car, trip over the discarded jackets & shoes right inside the front door, realize you’re out of toilet paper, give up & go outside to collect leaves.

8. A massage/pedicure/movie. Anything that I can do for at least one hour without whining, crying, fighting, wiping someone else’s butt, constant requests for things that we don’t have or that they can’t have. Preferably something that can make me forget – for at least an hour – about the last 4 years of the above annoyances & the fact that I will be going back to it – & the saved up annoyances from the hour off.

9. A cup of coffee. Hot. From first sip to last. Without using the microwave even once.

10. A TV show. Not dvr’d. On at prime time. No kids out of bed – no bathroom trips, requests for water, etc. I want to sit on the couch at 9:00, watch a show in its entirety – commercials and all, and not get up or talk the entire time.

I love my kids, I really really do. I would include in the list lots of hugs, kisses, & snuggles from my boys but this was a fantasy list and I have no doubt that I will actually get tons of love from my kids. They are sweet sweet boys that love their mommy & show it a lot. I am very blessed in that way. That’s all I really want for Mother’s Day… Unless you’re offering anything from the above list 😉

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! And to any of you dads or kids reading, I can safely assume that your wife or mom would happily accept any item on my list too – so you’re welcome!

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Mother’s Day fantasy wish list

“I believe there is no part of our lives, our adult as well as child life, when we’re not fantasizing, but we prefer to relegate fantasy to children, as though it were some tomfoolery only fit for the immature minds of the young. Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.”
As quoted in Questions to an Artist Who Is Also an Author : A Conversation between Maurice Sendak and Virginia Haviland (1972) by Virginia Haviland

Even though I’m -gasp- 30, I still fantasize. This is my fantasy Mother’s Day wish list:

1. A nap. Morning, afternoon, it does not matter. I haven’t napped in about 5 years. I’ll take one whenever I can get one.

2. A real shower. A shower where I can shave my legs, wash my hair – with shampoo & conditioner from separate bottles, & not be terrified that my kids are halfway to the playground when I don’t hear any fighting for longer than 2 minutes.

3. A trip to the bathroom alone. No open door, no audience, no running q&a session.

4. A full meal. Sitting down, in a chair, by myself. No sharing – which happens even with identical plates, no cutting other people’s food, no whining over the selection.

5. A phone call. Uninterrupted. No pleas for attention, no fighting, whining, hanging on my leg. No who is it? Can I have this? Can you do this? Just a nice enjoyable chat.

6. A full night’s sleep. In my bed. All alone. No feet kicking me in the ribs, no 3 am full-arm slap across the face, no waking up in a puddle having to change the sheets in the dark – or usually just throwing a towel over it until morning.

7. An actual quick trip to the store. I want to grab my keys, hop in the car, drive to the store, hop out, grab what I need, pay, hop back in car, drive home, go in house. Instead of the usual: search for 4 little shoes – 2 of each size – preferably matching, wrestle them on, find 2 jackets, wrestle them on, shepherd 2 kids out door & eventually to the car, fight to get them in the carseats & buckled, drive to store while questioning if milk is really *that* important, get kids out of car & safely into store, say no to various toys & candy for 20 minutes, grab what I need, pay, pay again for opened gum in kids’ pockets, keep kids from getting run over in parking lot, fight to get them back in seats & buckled, drive home with now screaming kids because they didn’t get every toy in cvs, wonder if the supermarket delivery system would drop off a gallon of milk next time, consider paying the $50 minimum for said gallon of milk just to never have to leave the house again, get home, get kids out of car, trip over the discarded jackets & shoes right inside the front door, realize you’re out of toilet paper, give up & go outside to collect leaves.

8. A massage/pedicure/movie. Anything that I can do for at least one hour without whining, crying, fighting, wiping someone else’s butt, constant requests for things that we don’t have or that they can’t have. Preferably something that can make me forget – for at least an hour – about the last 4 years of the above annoyances & the fact that I will be going back to it – & the saved up annoyances from the hour off.

9. A cup of coffee. Hot. From first sip to last. Without using the microwave even once.

10. A TV show. Not dvr’d. On at prime time. No kids out of bed – no bathroom trips, requests for water, etc. I want to sit on the couch at 9:00, watch a show in its entirety – commercials and all, and not get up or talk the entire time.

I love my kids, I really really do. I would include in the list lots of hugs, kisses, & snuggles from my boys but this was a fantasy list and I have no doubt that I will actually get tons of love from my kids. They are sweet sweet boys that love their mommy & show it a lot. I am very blessed in that way. That’s all I really want for Mother’s Day… Unless you’re offering anything from the above list 😉

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! And to any of you dads or kids reading, I can safely assume that your wife or mom would happily accept any item on my list too – so you’re welcome!

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Is the glass half full or half empty? Who cares.

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The age old argument about the pesky glass is it half full or half empty, the new spin that the opportunist drank it while you were arguing over the proper status of its contents. From the perspective of a (dare i say, relatively good) mom – I look at the glass and care not whether it’s half full or half empty, I try to figure out how to make it completely full or, if that’s not possible, how to best split it between two kids and how to make the water appealing to said kids.

Isn’t that true of everything in life with kids? How do we split our time and resources and affection between multiple kids and responsibilities? Life isn’t always fair but is that a lesson a 4 year old or 2 year old need to learn? Can it be learned that early? The thing is while life doesn’t always appear fair, there is usually a reason behind it and typically it balances out. Being as though that’s a concept most adults can’t grasp, it is ridiculous to think that preschoolers are going to get it. We need to teach our kids to share and be grateful and that sometimes “no” is the final answer. There’s not always time or money readily available for everything they want. Some things are dangerous or frivolous or not a good idea at the moment. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. My kids don’t always want to share with each other, they whine & cry when they don’t get their way, they don’t always stay in bed when I put them there for the night, they don’t always eat whatever is given to them with a smile – but they’re kids (and sometimes surprise me by doing the right thing)! The important part is I’m teaching them these things. I’m hoping with patience & consistency & age, their reactions will become more socially acceptable & gracious. They are well taken care of – fed, cleaned, dressed, comfortable, safe – and very well loved. And they’re happy! They don’t know we’re struggling. Isn’t that the best I can do?

Due to unfortunate circumstances we’re in a less than ideal situation. My glass isn’t even close to half full. It’s closer to about a sip and a half left. As a mom I still try to figure out how to fill the glass, how to split a sip & a half fairly, how to make it appealing. My kids don’t need to know that’s all that’s left. I mix in some Kool-Aid, put it in a Dixie cup so their cup is full, and they slurp up their shared sip confident knowing that Mom will make sure they have more tomorrow. One day I’ll be able to fill that glass for them, maybe even two. Who knows maybe one day I’ll even be able to fill a third so Mom will have one too. In the meantime, having my kids best interests -short-term or long-term- in heart & mind with whatever I do, I think that’s the best I can do.

*Just in case anyone reads this literally – I assure you my kids have much more to eat and drink each day than a sip & a half of Kool-Aid between them. Please don’t call DCF.

Soccer tales of an athletically un-gifted 4 year old (the video proof)

As promised, here is the video of Kid #1 attempting jumping jacks. *He is the one in the middle who falls down as soon as the exercise starts. He gets back up & then the fun starts. Too bad they only have to do 10 of them. Haha.

Sorry I’ve been MIA

Sorry that I’ve been MIA. It’s been one helluva week. Awesome post coming tomorrow.. Well a post coming tomorrow, I promise. Kid #1 has his kindergarten DIAL screening tomorrow, I’m sure that will provide plenty of material – he has to skip for crying out loud! If you read my post about soccer, skipping will be way more challenging than reciting his ABC’s or counting to 30. Look forward to a blog post laden with mommy guilt over what a terrible teacher I’ve been to him & all the ways I’ve failed him. Isn’t that what kindergarten assessment is all about?

Soccer Tales of an athletically un-gifted 4 year old

Today started out early for a Sunday. The boys & I had to be at the soccer field by 8:45. Soccer is supposed to start at 9:00 but J’s coach wants us there at 8:45 so there’s not stragglers showing up at 9:05, after practice has started. I’m pretty sure he must have gotten a head’s up about my uncanny ability to consistently be fashionably late and created this rule just for me. I proved him a pretty smart guy when I showed up at 8:55. My dad had come to visit for the weekend, just to watch J play soccer – such a great grandpa! – and was staying with my sister. He was already at the field waiting for us. Pulling up and seeing him sitting in his car waiting I felt like I was 17 again and I missed curfew. Except between my dad & I that’s not that big of a deal because he’s pretty laid back & non-confrontational. So really it was just my own guilt I was feeling, now & back then. Anyway, it was such a beautiful morning and we had a blast watching a bunch of 4 year olds play soccer, or their version of it. We especially enjoyed my graceful (like a bull) son perform his version of jumping jacks. I really need to get this on video for you – it is hilarious. My poor kid, the coach could barely count, even he was cracking up. I can’t even begin to describe to you what his attempt looks like. If you’ve ever seen the “Elaine dance” on Seinfeld, imagine that but done by a tragically uncoordinated 4 year old. That’s the best idea I can give you for the awkwardness level. Thank goodness they only have to do 10 of them, so it’s a short-lived comedy put on by my sweet innocent boy. Bless his heart he tries though.

I’m so appreciative for soccer. It gives me such insight into my son that I otherwise wouldn’t have. It’s a unique perspective you get to have on your kid. It’s kind of like a fishbowl view. I’m there, he knows I’m there but gets distracted enough to forget this for a bit. I get to see how he interacts with & responds to different adults without me there. He’s talkative – boy is he talkative, he always has “just one thing” he needs to say. I see what he is like with other kids. He is friendly. I see the motivation he needs. He needs a good bit of encouragement. Left to his own devices, he will wander & get sidetracked. He literally walked off the field in the middle of a game to come ask me a question about where we were going to eat the bagels we were getting after soccer was over. (This is the same kid who before soccer, when I told him he needs to eat breakfast for energy before soccer, lifted his shirt, grabbed his “fluffy” – as I prefer to call it – belly and said straight faced & completely seriously “You see this? *This* belly gives me energy, I don’t need breakfast.”) The coach of the team he played against was so good with J & J responded so well to him, I was contemplating trying to switch him to that team. Haha, yeah right! There is no chance in hell that my kid would let me switch his team. He is so excited to be a Silver Bullet, I could never convince him to be a Ladybug. Can’t really blame him. The Ladybugs? For soccer? I get that they’re only 4 but come on, call me old fashioned but I don’t think that’s a good name for any sports team at any age. Maybe in the fall we can switch. Gives me plenty of time to lobby for a re-name or to convince J that ladybugs are the. coolest. thing. ever.

I am going to make sure that I talk to his school before they assign him a kindergarten teacher for the fall. I have this information now of how my son best needs to be handled in an instructional setting and you bet your booty I will be doing everything I can to set him up for success. He has his kindergarten/Dial screening on Thursday. I’m not sure if I should let them evaluate him first and see what they have to say without bias or if I should bring it to their attention first. What would you do? Have you been in a similar situation, what did you do? Are you -& I will love you forever for the insider info- someone who does dial testing? Also, I am 100%, undeniably aware that he will most certainly be failing the skipping test. Skipping? Worse than the jumping jacks. He kind of gallops with a little hop thrown in and then finishes it with some kind of weird triple-jump-ish thing. Seriously, if you’re a dial tester & you’re in my area or you know someone who is, make sure you have a video camera rolling. You could probably win the America’s Funniest Home Videos grand prize… But only if you beat out the jumping jacks video I’m getting next week!

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Verbal Assault Weapons of a 4 year old

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photo from http://comics.dp.cx/2009.01.27/Dennis%20the%20Menace-2009.01.27.gif

I wanted to share with you the top 3 weapons in Kid #1’s verbal assault arsenal.

#1. “Tell me more about this.”
This is used numerous times a day for even the most trivial things. Example: Me – You’re having chocolate milk this morning. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – It’s milk with chocolate in it & you drink it. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – I pour milk in your cup, scoop in the Ovaltine, stir it up. Close the cup, give it to you & you drink it. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – It’s good for you & it tastes yummy. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – That’s enough. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – I need more coffee… Or maybe wine.

#2. “You promise?”
Typically used when I’ve already said no multiple times and there’s no chance in hell I will promise. Example from yesterday, between kid #1 and my stepsister. Kid #1 – Can we go to McDonalds for lunch? SS – Sure. We can do that as a special treat today. Kid #1 – Can we eat inside? SS – No, I don’t think that’s a good idea because we have the dogs in the car. Kid #1 – Do you promise we can eat inside? SS – No, we can’t eat inside. I just told you that. (5 minutes later) Kid #1 – Aunt K, do you promise we can eat inside? SS – No Kid #1, we are not eating inside. We are taking it home. Ask again and we won’t get it at all. (While pulling up to the drive-through to order) Kid #1 – NOOOOOOO!!!!!! You PROMISED we could eat inside!!!!!!

#3 – “Ok, but only if…”
I think this is my favorite. My little cutie turns into a little con artist, or so he thinks. Example: Kid #1 – Can I have dessert? Me – Ok. You ate all your dinner. You can have a cookie for dessert. Kid #1 – Ok, but only if I can stay up 10 minutes later tonight. Me – It doesn’t work like that. Kid #1 – No, I’m making a deal with you. Me – I know what you think you’re doing but it doesn’t work like that. You asked for something you wanted, I said yes, now it’s done. What you’re actually saying is if I don’t let you stay up later, you won’t get your cookie. Are you sure that’s the deal you want to make? Kid #1 – *big sigh* Fine, I’ll just have a cookie…. But only if I can have two.

Are there verbal assault weapons your kid uses? Please share in the comments 🙂

I have kids.

I have kids. From this one simple statement you already know so much about me… I am happy, sad, frustrated, grateful, tired, optimistic, anxious.

I am all of these things every single day, multiple times a day. I am happy at nap time. I am sad when I realize someone else, okay maybe it was me, finished the last of my cookies. I am frustrated when I am wiping someone else’s little butt or sitting in someone else’s pee on the toilet seat. I am grateful when I find the emergency stash of cookies hidden in my closet. I am tired from the time I wake up until about 5 minutes before I have to go to bed. I am optimistic that one day scientists will find that the chocolate/coffee/reality tv diet & exercise program is the best way to a healthier me. I am anxious that the previously mentioned scientific discovery will never happen. Now you know a little bit more about me – I am a little (& I use that word loosely) sarcastic.

Being as though this is my first post I feel the need to let you & the world know I really do love my kids very much. Bear with me while I get all sappy for a minute. I’m happy when my kids hug me tight & tell me they love me – and are not just trying to change my mind about something. I’m sad when I realize how quickly time is passing by – and then realize I spend so much of that time yelling. I’m frustrated when I can’t remember just how tiny they were or when each milestone exactly occurred – I didn’t need to write it down because how could I ever forget when that happened. I’m grateful each & every morning that I wake up and get to spend another wonderful day with my kids – even though I usually have to consciously remind myself of this, after my coffee, & then several more times throughout the day. I’m tired because I give every bit of energy to make sure my kids grow up to be decent, productive, kind, generous members of society – they’re 2 & 4 so there’s not always a lot of evidence yet that I’m doing a good job or that the energy is well spent, but there are shining moments that keep me going. I’m optimistic that my kids will live in a better world than we’re living in now – and they’re still young enough that I can be optimistic that they will be part of the reason the world is a better place. I’m anxious because I’m a mom, we worry about our kids and other people’s kids and the world and the environment and the economy – and who will be the biggest loser this season and who will win The Voice (Go Team Blake & Team Adam!)

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