I wanted to share with you the top 3 weapons in Kid #1’s verbal assault arsenal.
#1. “Tell me more about this.”
This is used numerous times a day for even the most trivial things. Example: Me – You’re having chocolate milk this morning. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – It’s milk with chocolate in it & you drink it. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – I pour milk in your cup, scoop in the Ovaltine, stir it up. Close the cup, give it to you & you drink it. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – It’s good for you & it tastes yummy. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – That’s enough. Kid #1 – Tell me more about this. Me – I need more coffee… Or maybe wine.
#2. “You promise?”
Typically used when I’ve already said no multiple times and there’s no chance in hell I will promise. Example from yesterday, between kid #1 and my stepsister. Kid #1 – Can we go to McDonalds for lunch? SS – Sure. We can do that as a special treat today. Kid #1 – Can we eat inside? SS – No, I don’t think that’s a good idea because we have the dogs in the car. Kid #1 – Do you promise we can eat inside? SS – No, we can’t eat inside. I just told you that. (5 minutes later) Kid #1 – Aunt K, do you promise we can eat inside? SS – No Kid #1, we are not eating inside. We are taking it home. Ask again and we won’t get it at all. (While pulling up to the drive-through to order) Kid #1 – NOOOOOOO!!!!!! You PROMISED we could eat inside!!!!!!
#3 – “Ok, but only if…”
I think this is my favorite. My little cutie turns into a little con artist, or so he thinks. Example: Kid #1 – Can I have dessert? Me – Ok. You ate all your dinner. You can have a cookie for dessert. Kid #1 – Ok, but only if I can stay up 10 minutes later tonight. Me – It doesn’t work like that. Kid #1 – No, I’m making a deal with you. Me – I know what you think you’re doing but it doesn’t work like that. You asked for something you wanted, I said yes, now it’s done. What you’re actually saying is if I don’t let you stay up later, you won’t get your cookie. Are you sure that’s the deal you want to make? Kid #1 – *big sigh* Fine, I’ll just have a cookie…. But only if I can have two.
Are there verbal assault weapons your kid uses? Please share in the comments 🙂